I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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