omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The air was thick with penises
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
