i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
