ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
