I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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