Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
