On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
