i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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