dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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