people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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