so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Someone shattered a urinal.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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