I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
