You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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