Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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