he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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