Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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