She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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