Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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