it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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