Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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