It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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