glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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