the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
