so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
