I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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