my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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