I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
