Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
