I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
