a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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