Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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