I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
it's great music for shaving your balls
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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