Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
