Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
