dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
