i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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