went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
