Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
