Come see our sink grown plant.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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