Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
