You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
