i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
