there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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