This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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