Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
