I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
