i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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