i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
