She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
