My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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