Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
