idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
