sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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