3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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