I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
