Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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