Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
