We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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