When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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