I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
